Cancer and Fear, Doubt, and Worry

My crowd funding project is over and I didn't meet my financial goal, but I got a lot of other benefits, including learning a lot about the cancer community in general.  Tweeting was the biggest catalyst for that because it is so quick and there are SO many places where groups and information are made available.  That is what brings to mind a subject that deserves some attention.


Science has now proven that thoughts really are things.  People with positive attitudes and some religious beliefs long considered it true before scientists found a way to prove it.  So, you would think that a world fraught with burgeoning cancer diagnoses and websites and support groups and treatment options that there would be a focus on keeping fear, doubt, and worry at bay.  But it just isn't so.


I am a person who falls into the positive attitude crowd and my spiritual beliefs support the idea that thoughts have influence, so I looked long and hard the last 6 weeks to find anywhere where that was the foundational support for any group or site.  I didn't find it.  If it exists, it certainly isn't front and center or easily found.


What is easy to find is information on the latest drug research and chemotherapy treatment and places to get access to them.  So are places where people chronicle their treatments, surgeries, and physical aches, pains, and symptoms.  There are diaries of stories written by husbands and relatives.  There are financial pleas for assistance.  I found myself feeling bogged down and moving away from my knowing that all is well and I am being healed by what I am doing based on all the "evidence" of people who also believed in and hoped for a cure and are still dying.


I don't know have an answer to what I or anyone else can do to change the collective thinking or the consciousness around having a cancer diagnosis, but I do know that the answer to every problem is inherent in the description of it.  Information that leads to fear, doubt, and worry are center stage on the web for cancer patients when hope, encouragement, and right thinking are what is needed.  Ponder that.

Blogging, Tweeting, and Breast Cancer

At the ripe age of 63, the idea of restricting my pithy thoughts to 140 characters to Tweet seemed so odd that I didn't think it could matter to me or anyone else.  I had no idea what a hash tag was or how to set up an account (my daughter did it for me.)  Yet in the last 6 weeks since my Indiegogo campaign was launched and I have done some tweeting, I have learned that people spend so much time online, they do like to get a taste of a subject in those few characters and decide if they want to dive deeper into the subject.  Actually kind of makes sense.  As my first attempt at crowd source funding project comes to a close, I have followers with thousands of fellow tweeters and I have learned a lot more about what is out there than I ever conceived or dreamed of.  Resources, interesting stories, connection points, and points of view.


On the other hand, it seems to me that blogging is a kind of "thinking out loud" about a subject, whether or not it's directly relevant to any project at hand and without the character or space restrictions.  Everything is so much better explored with more words and letters to people like me - in the process of writing a book about my personal journey with breast cancer.    I have found that there are already a lot of books out there about people and their cancer journeys - many specifically about breast cancer.  My daughter and her husband were absolutely convinced that my story is unusual in that I have done virtually nothing that I was "supposed" to do by traditional medicine standards.  In that regard, I do think what I have done is very different, but not sure what message that will deliver in the positive light I have in mind.


On the one hand, I am here 8+ years after diagnosis, feeling well, but a slave to a lot of health protocols to keep the cancer at bay and my immune system on fire.  That's great, of course, but my needle phobia, distaste for the very negative messages I got when I went to regular doctors, and having no health insurance for some of the time has put me in a place where I don't have a lot of numbers and test results to which I can refer in a scientific way as I report on what I have done.  That lack of information might daunt some people if they were in my shoes, but feeling great doesn't make me feel like I have "needed" to know more than that.


So, as I consider changing or adding a nontoxic protocol now, I feel like it's time to become more measured about what is going on so I can really tell about the efficacy of what I am doing.  An ultrasound and some blood work are in order.  Now I just have to find out where I stand in the Obamacare system and my eligibility to get them.  Stay tuned.

The End and A New Beginning

With less than 10% of my financial goal met on Indiegogo and only 3 days left, the end simply sets things up for a new beginning with different options based on financial reality. Obviously, getting the treatment I want won't be an option without a miracle funding it in the next 60 hours.  I have been thinking about what I should do now.  I can and may start a new campaign because I know a lot more than I did 6 weeks ago.  I have learned about so many projects on Indiegogo, found interesting groups to follow on Twitter, and even how to blog, all of which would benefit me if I go down this path again.  (I never did figure out how to join groups of related interest on LinkedIn.) 

I will escrow the net-of-Indiegogo-fees money in a special account and allocate enough to cover the costs of publishing the book so I honor that commitment.  I have several leads on how to do that.  There is more that has come to mind about options I have to arrest the cancer in more affordable, heretofore unexplored ways.

Common sense would indicate I should get an Oncoblot blood test, which is not covered by any insurance.  This blood test can tell if your body has any cancer cells in it and the kind(s) you have.  People who wonder if they are cured, really in remission, if cancer is recurring or has metastasized should get this test done.  It would be grand to corroborate my feeling really good all the time based on knowing that the cancer is still confined to just my breast and to the degree of activity.  At $950, it would make a big dent in the pool of money.      

Something I was interested in several years ago was Poly-MVA (polymva.com), but it was cost-prohibitive then and still is in the long run.  I filled out paperwork two days ago to become part of a study with them, which would reduce the current cost by over 30%.  There is enough to cover several months of this and allow other financial options to unfold.

Intravenous vitamin C is something I have never done, but is available and affordable if I can get past my needle phobia long enough to do it.  I confess it's kind of at the bottom of my pile of likely choices.

Hyperbaric oxygen treatments are also in the "wanted to do, but out of financial range" category. 

Buying any (especially a portable) bio-energetic mat has also long been on my shopping list.

The new laws in Colorado may make THC oil therapy practical. The prescribed dose and treatment period take several months. 

Some viewers of my video have wanted to learn the name of the clinic where I wanted treatment.  The clinic wants to stay under the radar because of the unbelievable hassles that nontraditional cancer treatments get from the government who purportedly is watching out for our best interest through the FDA, the AMA, and the pharmaceutical companies, all of which have agendas and financial reasons to support the traditional approach to cancer treatments.

It is the perfect time to welcome in the new year as new answers unfold for me and people like me.  Onward and upward.